Redeemed

Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' ...And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed...Then the man said, The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.' Genesis 1:22-23,25; 2:12

Do you remember when you first got married?

Most people can think back on the excitement of life and the newness that filled everything you did in those first weeks and months. There was purpose in going to work. There was joy in coming home. Even cleaning the house was a delight because you knew that you were doing it for the man you loved.

Then something happened and the beauty and innocence you had in the beginning went away. Perhaps in the beginning it was somewhat like Adam and Eve when they were naked with each other and knew no shame. You used to share everything with each other, the deepest and most intimate moments that you would share with no one else.

But now something separates you. When you get around each other, there's that doubt, that fear of setting off your spouse, of hitting that old button. And there's shame in the intimacy you used to have because you wonder where it went and whether you should have ever shared those deep places of your heart in the first place.

Adam and Eve experienced that separation, too, and it started when Adam tried to pass responsibility for his problems to Eve. It's not my fault, he told God, that woman you gave me told me to eat the apple.

Eve followed Adam's example, It's not my fault, either. The serpent tricked me!

All too often, a rift grows between us and our spouse when a difficult time comes-an argument, a tough choice on which we disagree, or someone makes a big mistake-and we choose to blame one another. As soon as we blame, we take sides and find our marriage divided.

The first step back to the love, shamelessness, and innocence is to forgive and to take responsibility. I'm sorry, please forgive me, goes a long, long way.

Choose today to come back to the same side with your spouse. Repent, forgive, and take responsibility. It will save your marriage and bring you back to where you began.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You for showing me the power of forgiveness. There are some messed up things in my marriage, but please help me to take responsibility, to forgive, and to become one with my spouse again.

Amen

Avoiding the Toll Road of Divorce

If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. I Corinthians 7:12-14

Imagine being stuck married to someone who has different dreams, values, and plans for life than you. You know married people are supposed to be on the same page with their spouse, but everywhere you turn it seems that you bump into conflict. Conversations about managing finances, raising kids, what friends you should have, and more turn into potential minefields. You can't even ride in the car together with the radio on without one side feeling like they have to make concessions for the other.

This could describe any marriage, but the likelihood dramatically increases when you are a Christian who is married to someone who does not believe in Jesus. What are you supposed to do if you find yourself in this situation? Whether you got saved after you were married or were already saved yet still chose to marry an unbeliever, the answer is the same-stay put! Hang in there!

In these verses, Paul helps us understand why this is so important. The reason is because as long as your unbelieving spouse is willing to remain married to you, you actually sanctify them by remaining married to them.

What does that mean? It means that you make them holy, setting them apart unto the Lord, becoming an open door for Him to work in their lives and bring them to salvation! You are the beachhead for His invasion into their soul, and as long as you remain together, He will work on them.

Your children will be blessed because of you as well because you serve as a covering of protection for them. Your faithfulness to the Lord helps lead them into the same faithfulness. God blesses you by blessing them.

There is so much blessing in staying put. Hang in there-for there is hope!

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You for always being faithful to me no matter how much reason I have given you to leave. Please help me to have the same strength to remain faithful to my spouse, and please have Your way in their life so they will soon believe in You, too.

Amen

Resolved: Fighting the Good Fight

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? ...Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:1,7-8

Let me clear your conscience right now-it is normal to have conflict in your marriage. You are two different people, from two different backgrounds, with two different upbringings, with different ways of doing everything from brushing your teeth to bringing up children. It is not possible for you to cram these vast differences into the same household, the same bed, the same marriage, or the same family without experiencing a measure of conflict.

The question is how you will handle those conflicts?

Our verses today remind us that the ultimate source of all conflict is selfishness-we want something for ourselves and therefore walk over someone else to get it. Granted, many times this is on accident, but it still hurts the person who gets walked on, hence the conflict.

So now we find ourselves in the middle of a conflict. I'm hurt. You're hurt. We're both angry, and now, without realizing it, a wedge has come between us. Our queen bed has become two singles. We are no longer standing together, and instead, we are opposing one another.

How do we come together again? We find something to pursue in common; we refocus our vision on something new, and that something is a someone called God. We submit to God, saying, God, I know You don't want this wedge in my marriage. Please help me to fix it.

Then we resist the devil, choosing to handle the conflict in a loving way that refuses to lower itself to accusation and pointing of fingers. We choose instead the high road of preferring one another and seeking the other person's benefit.

Then, together, we draw near to God and wait as He draws near to us, bringing His peace to resolve our conflict, restore our marriage, and heal our hearts. This is like revisiting your wedding day, when you and your spouse both independently approached the altar, yet left unified.

If your marriage is divided today, choose to come back to the altar. Submit yourself, your spouse, and your marriage to God. Resist the devil. Draw near to God, and watch as He begins to transform your marriage into all you dreamed it would be.

Prayer Lord God,

You are the creator of marriage, and I want to honor You! Come help me in my marriage and bring peace to our conflicts. Bring us back to the same side and heal our hearts. Thank You for healing my marriage!

Amen

Blind Corners, Hidden Driveways, Falling Rocks

But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak. 1 Corinthians 8:9

We need to realize that the issues we are so passionate about are not as important as the people standing in front of us.

What is it for you? Is the topic abortion, smoking, drinking, or tattoos? Maybe your issue is the gay community and the sanctity of marriage. Perhaps the soap box you stand on is organic food, a vegetarian diet, or animal rights. Are these the things that people see when they come near you, or do they see Christ?

When Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, he wrote to a church full of smart people. These people knew the issues of faith and society and could debate with the best, but none of that mattered to Paul. The only thing he cared about was whether or not they knew how to love.

Did they love one another or were their private issues more important? Of course they were free to have opinions on anything they wanted to, but their freedom wasn't the point. Paul wanted them to remember what their freedom was for. It was not so they could flaunt their beliefs and rub them in people's faces. No, their freedom was so that they could love without any hindrance.

The debates over issues in Corinth became divisions. When they looked at each other, they only saw their differences instead of the love for Jesus that should have bound them together.

Does this hit close to home for you? Issues divide us like never before, but it is not supposed to be this way. We, as the Church of God, must rise up as leaders in this time. We must become an image of unity that will make the world want to sign up and join.

How do we make this happen? We do it by getting over ourselves and putting love first. Instead of pushing our opinions, we begin to help those around us. We demonstrate the love of Christ in our words and actions. Then, after we have shown the people around us that they matter to God, perhaps they will care about what matters to us.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You for loving me before I knew You! Please help me to love others the way You have loved me-unconditionally-no matter whether or not they agree with me.

Amen

Leadership at Work and Home

A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Proverbs 29:11

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? If you do, I'm not telling you that it's wrong by any means, but I am saying that it's good to have boundaries.

I'm telling you this because we all know how things can sometimes get in our families.

The fact of the matter is that families are made up of a whole bunch of people who are nothing like one another, which means that there's a whole lot of potential for confusion and conflict. When we express our confusion in an emotionally charged way, or even in ways we think are innocent and well-intentioned, we can really hurt one another.

It's like when that garage door finally goes down, you just let out all the dirty laundry.

And our verse today would caution us as to the effectiveness of that, telling us that we don't need to vent it all out in the way we often do the moment that we get inside the home.

Now, my church has a school, and my kids have all gone there. What my kids see in me on this campus shouldn't be all that different than the dad they see at home. The dad and the mom that they see at church should be the dad and mom that they see at home. There should be no mask that comes off when the front door closes, like it's a Jekyll and Hyde sort of a thing where they're left wondering who the real you is.

You don't need to vent all your feelings, letting it all out. There's something to be said here about timing, about the counsel of how much of that type of spewing is overheard and seen and then picked up in the lives of our kids.

In fact, the more that the two of you, as husband and wife, can be seen in this sole-hearted unity, the better off it is for your kids. You say, Well, that's just impossible. We are so opposite in the way we think kids should be raised, or, It's a blended home, or, They're getting that when they're with mom and this when they're with dad. It's just sort of out of control.

You know what? There is only so much you and I can control. And here, the wisdom of Solomon would say to make sure the things you can control are coming under the control of the Holy Spirit, that it's not a free-for-all, vent it all out, let it hit the fan and see what's left when the dust clears the environment in which your kids forced to grow up in their own home.

Our kids need better than this, and so do we, so let's guard what we say and hold back what we vent.

Prayer Lord God,

Thank You that You still love even when You don't like what You see. Please help me to hold back my words and to choose to love instead!

Amen

Weighing What We Say

For even if I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it. For I perceive that the same epistle made you sorry, though only for a while. Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance...For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. 2 Corinthians 7:8-10

I think you know what I'm talking about today. I mean, everyone's experienced words that hurt.

One way or the other, as either the hearer or the speaker, we know that words can hurt and even destroy things that are so precious to us.

Now, what if you've been through this meat grinder? What if your heart just feels shred-

ded by certain people close to you-husband, wife, business partner, son, daughter, mother, father, or friend? If this is you, I know you're asking, That person could say the right things to me, but how do I know if I can believe them?

Well, let me first say that there is hope, and I'll break it down into four categories.

First, behind the words, you want to see some real heartfelt regret over what was said. I hate that I said that. It was horrible to say that. There needs to be some mourning, some regret, over what has been said and done.

Second, this regret should lead to some repentance. I'm not going to say that anymore. This is a turning that leads away from further pain, misery, and division, even leading to rejoicing.

Third, you want to see a true realignment of the heart. I'm not just talking about the person who hurt you; I'm talking about your heart too, because it was your heart that got hurt. This means that we allow God to realign our hearts afresh, to restore them and set them free from the place of pain.

Fourth, look for the rationale behind the rhetoric. What's the reason behind the actions? Is there zeal? Is there fear of doing it again? How deep is the desire? Do they have indignation, a deep anger, toward what they did, motivating them and moving them to change?

Look for these things that display an attitude that says, We've been avengers for the wrong for far too long. Let's be avengers for the right now; let's defend what's right. When you see these things in both yourself and the person who hurt you, you're ready to start restoring the relationship.

Prayer Lord God,

You know what has been said to me and how terribly it hurts. But You also see how important that relationship is, and how important that person is to me. Please heal my heart, and heal my relationship, too!

Amen

Lest Something Worse Befall Thee

Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise...Therefore let no one boast in men. 1 Corinthians 3:18,21

Listen to the warning! The sirens are blaring, danger is all around, and if we are not careful then we will fall into the trap.

Paul delivers his warning to us, Let no one deceive himself. This warning is about becoming wise in this age. I'll tell you plainly, the wisdom of this age is all about how to be successful in the world's eyes. It's about how to climb the corporate ladder; manipulate circumstances for your benefit; dress to look young, beautiful, and powerful; and have the most toys at the end of the day.

The wisdom of this world could also have little to do with material possessions, instead seeking to be exalted in the eyes of the world, accomplishing things that the world esteemshumanitarian aid, promotion of the environment, peace at any cost, animal rights, etc.

But like a good teacher, Paul does not leave us with only a warning, continuing on to give us the key to understand the warning. He says, Let no one boast in men.

Truth be told, there is nothing wrong with money (only the love of it), business success, being beautiful, humanitarian aid, stewarding the environment, peace, or preventing the extinction of animal species. The problem is that God has better answers for these problems than man does, yet we persist in the wisdom of man instead of seeking God for His answers. The problem is that the wisdom of man asserts, I can do it by myself; I don't need God, while the truth is that God calls us to a relationship where He walks with us hand in hand through life.

This is the life Adam had in the Garden before he fell, and it is the life God invites us to now. What problems do you face? What issues do you see in society around you? Now, what are you going to do about them?

Whatever you do, forsake your own wisdom and the wisdom of this world. Instead, ask God for His plan, and then invite Him to help you as you use His wisdom to solve the world's problems.

Prayer Father God,

Thank You for giving me the Spirit of Wisdom! I renounce the wisdom of this world, knowing that it is foolishness. I cannot do life without You, so please help me and give me Your wisdom for every problem that I face!

Amen