November 6th

Weighing What We Say

For even if I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it. For I perceive that the same epistle made you sorry, though only for a while. Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance...For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. 2 Corinthians 7:8-10

I think you know what I'm talking about today. I mean, everyone's experienced words that hurt.

One way or the other, as either the hearer or the speaker, we know that words can hurt and even destroy things that are so precious to us.

Now, what if you've been through this meat grinder? What if your heart just feels shred-

ded by certain people close to you-husband, wife, business partner, son, daughter, mother, father, or friend? If this is you, I know you're asking, That person could say the right things to me, but how do I know if I can believe them?

Well, let me first say that there is hope, and I'll break it down into four categories.

First, behind the words, you want to see some real heartfelt regret over what was said. I hate that I said that. It was horrible to say that. There needs to be some mourning, some regret, over what has been said and done.

Second, this regret should lead to some repentance. I'm not going to say that anymore. This is a turning that leads away from further pain, misery, and division, even leading to rejoicing.

Third, you want to see a true realignment of the heart. I'm not just talking about the person who hurt you; I'm talking about your heart too, because it was your heart that got hurt. This means that we allow God to realign our hearts afresh, to restore them and set them free from the place of pain.

Fourth, look for the rationale behind the rhetoric. What's the reason behind the actions? Is there zeal? Is there fear of doing it again? How deep is the desire? Do they have indignation, a deep anger, toward what they did, motivating them and moving them to change?

Look for these things that display an attitude that says, We've been avengers for the wrong for far too long. Let's be avengers for the right now; let's defend what's right. When you see these things in both yourself and the person who hurt you, you're ready to start restoring the relationship.

Prayer Lord God,

You know what has been said to me and how terribly it hurts. But You also see how important that relationship is, and how important that person is to me. Please heal my heart, and heal my relationship, too!

Amen