The Measure of Our Days

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised. Song of Solomon 8:7

A lot of people think marriage is a big mystery. Really, I have to disagree. I think it's pretty simple, and if you follow along with me today then I think you'll agree.

There are three kinds of marriages. First, I'll tell you about a rotten marriage. A rotten marriage begins when you start with someone who lives out life for all they can take for themselves. A rotten marriage gets full blown when you have a taker married to a taker, and all they do is take, take, take, take, take.

This is what I need from you. This is what I need you to do. This is a train wreck of a marriage that's got kill switch sitting all over it and ultimately finds itself in my office because all they do is selfishly take, take, and take again.

What's just about as bad is an abusive marriage. You get an abusive marriage when you have a giver married to a taker, and one gives and gives and gives until they're run over by one who does nothing but take. It's terrible. It's not what the Lord is desires for us at all.

Second, something else He doesn't want is a ho-hum marriage. This is the middle of the road marriage that's neither diving nor thriving. I'll tell you, you get this kind of marriage when you have two people who are neither givers nor takers. They just sit there lukewarm in their love.

Or, you can get a marriage like this when two givers are giving outside of their marriage before they give inside their marriage. Then, by the time they get to their marriage, they're giver's all gived out; they didn't save anything for the most important human in their life.

Rather, here's what God wants for us-and here's a great marriage-is when a giver is married to a giver, and they put each other as first priority in their giving. If you fight about anything, it's about who's going to out-give the other.

I'm doing this for you.

No, I was going to do that for you.

I'm doing this for you.

I was going to do it for you!

That ought to be your first fight, who is going to out-serve their spouse.

Marriage really can be that simple. Choose to be a giver today and watch the transforma-

tion that happens in your home.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You for choosing to give me Your life before I ever gave You anything! Please help me to be an example of Your giving love in my home!

Amen

The Most God-Like Thing We Can Do

This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. 2 Corinthians 2:6-8

In case you haven't heard, forgiveness is important. In fact, our Christian life doesn't work without it. Jesus forgave us, so it just doesn't work for us to withhold forgiveness from those who've hurt us.

To help you in this forgiveness thing, let me give you the don'ts of forgiveness. First, don't internalize the hurt. Now, I would be a hypocrite if I said not to personalize it. Just face it, hurt hurts, which makes it pretty impossible not to personalize it. I'm just saying don't let it affect who you are. Let Christ determine who you are, not your pain.

Second, don't make it more than it needs to be. In our verse today, Paul is saying that the punishment was more than sufficient for the crime. God's heart is always as David prayed in Psalm 51 (the psalm he wrote after he committed adultery and murder), God, restore unto me the joy of Your salvation. God wants us to be restored, or He wouldn't have bothered sending Jesus so that we could be forgiven, and we need to pray for restoration for those who hurt us.

Third, don't miss the opportunity to be merciful. Mercy is defined as not getting what you deserve. James 2:13 says, For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. Whatever offense you have, mercy wins. And if you want mercy instead of judgment, you'd better give mercy instead of judgment.

Fourth, don't limit God's love. Scripture says that love keeps no record of wrongs. If we have God's love in us then we have to do the same. Don't limit God's love working in and through you to forgive.

Fifth, don't fail the forgiveness test. Forgiveness is a test of our obedience to Christ Jesus, because He didn't leave us a choice. He didn't say, These things you must forgive, but these other things are too terrible to forgive. No, He said we must forgive, period.

Paul could not rest until this issue of forgiveness was settled. He knew that no one could see Christ in him until it was. What issue do you have unsettled in your life? Choose to forgive today, so that you may be free, and so that others might see Jesus in you.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

I know that what's been done to me doesn't measure up to what I've done to You, and I don't want to fail the forgiveness test. I choose to forgive those who have hurt me and I extend mercy to them. Please bring restoration! Heal my heart and set me free!

Amen

Rewarded

For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall your sons marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:5

What does it take to make your marriage rewarding? Have you ever thought about it? Because I want you to know today that it does not happen all by itself.

Some of you today just need to know that a marriage can be rewarding and it really can be! but all of us need to know today that there are five principles we need to get down to have a rewarding marriage:

First, honor your marriage. Our marriage must carry weight in our hearts, which means that we choose to make it important. We place it first on our priority list, which means that we say, No, to things that would distract us from our marriage.

Second, enjoy your marriage. Can you remember your wedding day? Chances are pretty good that you were giddy with happiness on your wedding day as endless dreams filled your mind of all the ways you were going to enjoy your marriage. No matter how much has changed, you can still choose to delight in each other now as you did then.

Third, defend your marriage. Society is trying to run over marriage with a bus, and statistically, the Church is going right along with it. Defending marriage with your vote is important, but defending it in your home is even more important. We must be like watchmen over our marriages, daily standing guard against any threat.

Fourth, strengthen your marriage. There's no other way to say it, but this means work. It means that any stones and logs that are jamming up the flow of your marriage need to be removed, the hurts of the past need to be forgiven, and the hurtful attitudes need to change.

Fifth, never forsake your marriage. Never forsake it in your heart, letting your thoughts or eyes wander to the people around you, wondering what exciting things you might be able to enjoy with them. Never forsake it in your words, speaking as though your marriage has no hope. Never forsake it in your actions, but bend your actions around the fact that you are married.

The world is crying out for solutions to their dysfunctional families. Put these five principles into practice and you will find the world flocking to discover your secret to a rewarding marriage.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You that someday You are going to take the Church as Your bride, and You will have a rewarding marriage. Please give me wisdom and strength to practice these things and make my earthly marriage as rewarding as that heavenly one will be!

Amen

Avoiding the Toll Road of Divorce

Jesus answered and said to them...Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.' Mark 10:2,11-12

Everyone wants to know about divorce. There are few topics about which it is so easy to step on people's toes.

Jesus helps us understand God's heart in this issue, telling us that, ultimately, God says that men and women who consummate the covenant of marriage are one person. How, then, can one person become two again? Simply put, they can't. What God has joined together, let not man separate.

However, God does give us in His Word a small handful of reasons under which divorce is permitted-not the ideal, never intended, not His heart-but it is permitted. Here they are: First, divorce is permissible when adultery has been committed. If a husband or wife breaks their covenant by committing adultery, then divorce is permitted.

Second, if an unbelieving spouse refuses to stay married to a believer. This does not mean that the believer is permitted to divorce the unbelieving spouse, only the other way around. It also does not mean that the believer is allowed to drive their unbelieving spouse to divorce. Rather, the believer should act in such a way-praying, submitting, serving, loving-that the unbeliever gets saved.

Third, if sexual immorality has been committed. This is broader than adultery, includ-

ing everything from pornography to drug use. The point of this one is to communicate that we must take the sanctity of our marriage seriously. Do not do anything that jeopardizes your vows.

Lastly, and this sums up the rest, God permits-not delights in, not desires-divorce when a spouse has acted treacherously. This means to act faithlessly, with intentional deceit, or to be purposefully unfaithful.

Let me be clear, our marriages should be an image of the relationship between Christ and His Church, where there will never be divorce. That is God's heart and intention.

Unless your marriage qualifies under these four things, and even if it does, seek peace, seek reconciliation, seek unity, become one together.

Only as we work hard toward this end will our marriages become the image they are to be and fulfill all that God desires for them.

Prayer Father God,

Thank You for Your high standard for marriage! I confess that I need Your help to live up to all that You say my marriage should be. Please have Your way in my home and be King over my marriage!

Amen

How to Live a Holy Life

Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, rebuke the oppressor; defend the fatherless, plead for the widow.' Isaiah 1:16-17

There's a lot of talk these days about responsibility.

When it comes right down to it, who is responsible for the economic troubles going through the country right now? Is it the President? Congress? Wall Street? Greedy rich people? There's a lot of blame going around, and wherever blame is cast, someone is trying to pin down who is most responsible for the problem.

So where is the blame and responsibility when it comes to whether or not our country follows God? A lot of us want to blame some perceived center of unrighteousness like Hollywood, Washington, or the music industry.

We'll read verses like our verses for today and think, That's right, we really need to repent! Except, the we that we're talking about in reality has very little to do with ourselves. The we is really always that guy over there, or those other people who are really doing the bad stuff-the drug dealers, gang members, pedophiles, criminals, and industries that shape our culture toward wickedness.

You know what? All those people may need to repent, certainly they do; we all do. But I have no control over those people. On a good day, I can control myself.

We all need to realize that, while all those other angry people in traffic, or the sinners who watch those other movies in our favorite theaters, or our neighbors who have no idea how to raise their kids (because we sure do) need to repent-so do we. And we are responsible first and foremost for ourselves.

So the next time you're in church listening to a message and you think, Boy, that's a great word there. I know a person who should really hear this! stop yourself. Realize that you do know a person who needs to hear the message-you.

If you want to know who is responsible for all the junk in our country today, start by looking at your own life, not because other people don't have sin, but because until you don't, you don't get to cast any stones at others who do.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

I need help! I confess that I have looked for others to repent without considering the sin in my own life first. Please forgive me and wash me clean! Help me turn to holy things so that the world will know I am Yours.

Amen

God's Road to a Happy Marriage

Let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2

What do you mean?

It's a pretty well known fact that speaking the same language does not guarantee that we communicate. For this reason, it's nice to have a clear definition, and here in scripture, God gives us one that couldn't be clearer. It also could not be more relevant to our culture today, which is crying out to have this term well defined.

The term I am talking about is marriage. God defines marriage in our verse today, saying, Let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

There are a number of things this tells us. First, it does not say that men can have men or women can have women. Men have wives, not husbands, and women have husbands, not wives. I think that's pretty clear.

Second, it says that each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. That says to me that marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman, not between one man and two women, or one man and two hundred women. The same goes for women. We are to have one spouse. Why? Because Jesus has one bride-the Church-and all marriages are to be an image of His.

Third, notice that it says each man has a wife, not a woman, and that each woman has a husband, not a man. This means there is to be a covenant exchanged. When we talk about consummating a marriage, that indicates the covenant has already been made or there would be nothing to consummate. Copulate and consummate are not the same. One is just sex, while the other is the fulfillment of a lifelong promise and commitment.

Fourth, do you see that word, Have? That word in context is not talking about having someone as a possession, which would be abusive, but to have someone in the context of sexual relationship. This means that sexual relationships are only appropriate with our covenanted spouse, not with anyone else before or outside of that holy relationship.

This is the biblical definition of marriage, which means that it is our definition of marriage. This is the answer our culture is looking for, and they will find it when we simply start to live it.

Prayer Lord God,

Thank You for marriage. Marriage is important enough to You that You will one day get married. I take Your definition of marriage as my own. Please help me to live it.

Amen

Welcome to Corinth

Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 1 Corinthians 1:10

What do you think of them? You know who I'm talking about. I'm talking about those other so-called Christians.

They think they know everything about the Bible, like they have the corner on truth, but we know better. After all, our church is bigger, our pastor is better educated, and we aren't as weird (or stiff, or old, or irrelevant) as they are. Surely, we have the better church.

Is this how you think about Church? Is Church, to you, only the building you go to on Sunday mornings? Or perhaps you think Church is an organization to which you have a membership, which you got because you wanted to vote in the congregational meetings and have a say in how things are run.

If this is what you think about Church, then you need to shift your thinking.

To start with, there should be no divisions within the Church, and in using the capital C, I mean the universal Church over the entire world throughout all time. We are one body, not a bunch of buildings. We are an organism, not an organization. We are an identity, not merely an assembly.

And we are to have one mind among all of us. How is this possible? Paul tells us just a few verses after our main verses for today, saying, But we have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

We have the same mind with one another because we all have the mind of Christ. We are His body and He is our head.

So what do you think about other Christians, especially from other denominations? It is true that many denominations do not represent Christ at all anymore, but that should not be our first concern. Our first concern should be to think of other Christians (or even those who call themselves Christians, yet are not) the way that Christ thinks about them.

If we are to have the mind of Christ, then we have no business thinking any thoughts that He is not thinking. When we take up this attitude toward one another within the body of Christ, then we will begin to truly become one body. And not only that, but we will begin to become all He created us to be.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You for giving me Your mind! But I confess that I don't feel like I have Your mind much of the time. Please help me to think only the thoughts that You think, especially toward everyone else in Your body.

Amen