The Measure of Our Days

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised. Song of Solomon 8:7

Till death do us part. That’s the promise we all make when we get married, that nothing will tarnish our faithfulness to our spouse until death forces our previously unsevered relationship to become severed.

But here’s the reality-only about half of us who make that promise keep it. And of those who keep that promise enough to not get divorced, many violate it with pornography, abuse, selfishness, sleeping together before making their vows, or heart-level unfaithfulness.

As we race toward the end times, we can be confident that marriage will come under increasing attack in our culture. It’s vital for us, then, to remember that no matter what our culture endorses, God’s commands never change.

No matter if our culture gasps when a young couple refuses to sleep together before they wed. No matter what filthy things or latest gossip comes out of our coworkers’ mouths. No matter who is disrespecting their spouse, dishonoring them when they talk to others. No matter how easy it is to access pornography. None of this matters, because God hasn’t changed and neither has His Word.

God hasn’t changed, and this gives us a very important word where our love is concerned, that we are to be faithful. And I mean that we are to be faithful not just to our spouse, but to our God.

I mean that above all else we hold on to the love that He has most faithfully given us, not letting it be cheapened or taken for granted. Don’t settle for what the world is living for. Don’t rent out your heart. Don’t play the field. Don’t treat your heart like a lounge chair that anybody walking by is invited to sit in. No!

Instead, keep your heart and your eyes and your affections fixed on the One who loves you the most and the best. Can any love you’ll find on earth compare to His? No! Never! Not in a million years! Then why on earth would you look for love anywhere else besides His embrace, in His heart for you?

Fix His love upon your heart today and do not let it forsake you. If you’ll do this, your marriage and your walk with God will be blessed off the charts.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You that You love me more than I can even imagine! I know that You love me, but I want to know it even more. And as You show me Your love, I choose to love You and none other, obeying Your commands to stay faithful now and forever to my spouse.

Amen

God’s Road to a Happy Marriage

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4

You know that, if you are married, you are in debt, right?

I know there is a lot of debt going around these days-credit card debt, cars to pay off, and mortgages as well-but that’s not what I’m talking about. I am talking about a debt you owe to your spouse-a debt of affection.

In the context of what Paul is saying in our verses for today, we understand that this debt of affection is not a general sort of affection, some kind words or a bouquet of roses; rather, he is talking specifically about sex. We owe a debt of sex to our spouses, giving one another the affection that is due.

When I say this, I can almost hear the men who read these words cheering, running to their wives and saying, You gotta read what Pastor Bob wrote! But I want you to know this affection is not only due to husbands, but also to wives.

Listen men, if your wife is pregnant or aging, are you giving her the affection that is due to her? Or are you giving that affection to the pretty woman in your favorite television show, some paid prostitutes on your computer screen, or even letting your eyes wander after every pretty, young girl you see on the street? There is an affection due to your wife, and you have no business exciting your sex drive with other women and then fulfilling it with your wife.

The heart of this matter, for both husbands and wives, is generosity. Paul says that spouses do not have authority over their own bodies, but rather over their partner’s body. This only works in an atmosphere of generosity in which we give ourselves freely, granting permission and allowing our spouse to have authority over our bodies within the covenant of marriage.

The opposite of generosity is selfishness, and the moment selfishness enters a marriage then things begin to spiral downward. However, the moment we begin to be generous, things will begin to grow and continue growing until our marriage is more incredible than we ever imagined it could be.

Prayer Father God,

Thank You for my spouse! I want my marriage to be exactly what You designed marriage to be, and I know that a significant part of that is our sex life. I set myself apart for my spouse, giving them complete access to me as is right, and I ask You to help us guard one another within our atmosphere of generosity.

Amen

Your Love Is King

So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, Blessed be the LORD, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel!’ Ruth 4:13-14

Life is better when God is King. I mean, it just makes sense, because if God is King then He’s in charge, so He looks out for us because we belong to Him.

The story of Ruth is a great story to help us understand how powerful it is when we make God the King over our lives. In a nutshell, Ruth marries into a family that did not make God King. Without God as King, they had to look out for themselves and it didn’t work out well. In fact, all the men-three husbands total, including Ruth’s-died.

Well, if you want a different result then you have to try a different way, and Naomi and Ruth do just that. They made God King over their hearts, following Him wholeheartedly. They made Him King over their plans and futures. They made Him King over their needs, following Him to the right fields for gleaning and the right man to marry.

Now, with Ruth having followed God as King in all of these things, Boaz (the right guy) also makes God King. He follows the right procedures God had set up in order to marry Ruth and the two are married. In all this, they make God King over their home and marriage.

God’s got a thing about marriage and absolutely wants it to be honored in us within this culture and society as much as He honors it in His Word. And marriage is honored in His Word. A marriage bed is to be honored and not defiled. And here, they take that example of allowing God’s way to become King over their home, over their marriage, over their plans, over all that He has now led them to accept and believe by faith.

And guess what happens. As soon as they get married, Ruth conceives and bears a son. Can I just remind you of the miracle of that verse? She’s been married before. In fact, she was married for ten years and never got pregnant-she has been barren her whole life. And all of a sudden, she meets Boaz and, upon this marital conception, is now with child and seeing the blessing of this covenant in allowing God to be King over this relationship.

I hope today that you are allowing God to be King over your relationships. Because if you are, there are blessings to receive, my friends, just as God blessed Ruth.

Prayer Lord God,

Thank You for giving me the story of Ruth to encourage me about the blessings of letting You be King! Please come today and be my King forever; lead me and give me the courage to follow You in all things!

Amen

Resound

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

If you could boil your life down to one thing, what would it be? What is the repeated, prolonged echo that fills your life?

My hope for you today, because this is the will of God, is that this one thing in your life is love. Strip everything else away, all other motivations, all other callings, all other attitudes, and I hope that we would find love in each one of us today.

You might wonder why love is so important. Well, it’s because everything we do, no matter how wonderful or good, is worthless if it doesn’t come from love in our hearts.

That’s quite a challenge for us as we approach the topic of marriage, isn’t it? I mean, look at an average day and tell me, is everything you do for even one day toward your spouse motivated by love?

Well, what does that look like, Bob? I can tell you, because 1 Corinthians 13 tells us. I encourage you to read it in full, but let me boil it down by saying this-the opposite of love is not hate; the opposite of love is selfishness.

Love is a choice we make to pursue another person, to seek their benefit above our own. This choice requires us to shape our actions and guard our heart with our spouse in mind, considering them to be of more consequence than ourselves.

Chances are good, however, that this has not always been our experience, either with our spouses or with other people in our lives. All of us come into our marriages as damaged goods, so to speak, to one degree or another. This is why it is vital for us to remember one of love’s most important keys-forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what’s happened in the past was right or that those who have hurt us are off the hook, but it does mean it’s out of your heart. It releases us from the past so that we can freely enter a good future.

What future is that, you ask? Isaiah 60:1,7 tells us, Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you…and I will glorify the house of My glory.

Your future and the future of your marriage is that God wants to glorify you and make you the example marriage on your block, so that everyone will wonder what you have figured out that they need.

All this will happen, but only when we make our lives about love. What is your life about today?

Prayer Lord Jesus,

You are the God of love and I am Your child. I choose to forgive those who have hurt me and ask that You would heal my heart so that I can freely love as You created me to do.

Amen

Re-Tooled

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27

What do you need to be a good leader in your home? In case you’ve ever asked this question, the Bible gives us some very clear qualities, and all of them are based in the character of God Himself.

The first quality of a good household leader is Biblical love. This love is way different from the Cupid love that is running rampant in our society. Here are the differences:

Cupid love is based on emotions. You don’t choose love; you just get shot with it. You see the girl across the room and she looks back at you and-WHAM!-you love each other. Then you get into a relationship with each other and go through the ups and downs, falling in and out of love, feeling betrayed over and over as you ride the waves of emotion.

Biblical love is a choice to commit. It is a covenant promise to seek the benefit of the other person before your own, to lay your life down to make your spouse’s life all God made it to be. It is not void of emotion (and is in fact very emotional), but it weathers the emotional ups and downs because it is founded on something far greater-a choice made before God.

The second quality of a good household leader is that you lead by the Word of God. The guidebook and roadmap for your family had better be the Bible.

A lot of men complain about their wives having all sorts of problems. I don’t know if you realize this, but look at our verses today-Jesus washes His bride with the pure water of the Word so that He can present to Himself a glorious bride. It is your job to wash your wife in the Word, leading her into godliness so that you can present yourself with a glorious bride. This is not giving you permission to accuse her of all her faults, but instead to gently lead her into godliness.

Maybe you say that your wife knows the Word better than you do. That might be true, but that only means it’s time for you to learn. Nothing excuses you from the place of leadership to which God has called you and for which He will hold you accountable.

These are God’s qualities for household leadership. Will you learn them?

Prayer Father God,

You are the best example of household leadership there could ever be! Please help me to grow in love and in Your Word, so that I can lead my family into all You call us to be. Especially in my marriage, God, please help me to lead with confidence according to Your will.

Amen

Recommitment

The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because he has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.’ … And He began to say to them, Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.’ Luke 4:18-19,21

Have you ever put the wrong foot forward? You might say that Jesus did, at least if you look at the way He introduced His ministry.

Our verses for today tell us what Jesus said when He announced His ministry to His hometown of Nazareth. He went on from there to talk about times when God sent His prophets to gentiles because no one would receive them in Israel. The people responded by chasing Jesus out of town to throw Him off a cliff, only to have Him walk right through them and continue in ministry.

You can easily imagine an older man sitting next to Jesus giving Him an elbow, saying, You’d better keep your mouth shut, young man. You don’t understand what you’re saying!

But we all know that would be bad advice, wouldn’t it? There is a lot of bad advice out there when it comes to marriage, but God has some good advice for us today that will help us. First, you don’t have to be married to be faithful to your marriage. Begin today to pray for your spouse, whether you’re already married or not, and set yourself to remain pure for them in heart and body. Remember, the price you pay for your purity is the value of what you give your spouse-don’t cheapen it by giving yourself away early or letting yourself stray from your vows. Second, who you are right now is what you bring to your marriage. Jesus didn’t try to disguise who He was to be accepted in His hometown church; He was genuine. We need to be genuine, too. Marriage does not change us. Transitions in life change us. Change changes us.

But we need to let Jesus change us into who He created us to be.

Third, look to Jesus for the things He proclaimed in these verses. All of us need some-

thing here, and any of these things keeps us from the life and marriage God desires for us. Follow this advice and it will make not only your marriage stronger, but your life better.

Prayer Lord Jesus,

Thank You for the incredible things You do for us! Please come and do what You spoke in my life so that I can be the best person and spouse, living the best life, just as You created me to be.

Amen

Weighing What We Say

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. 2 Corinthians 7:1

How many times have you said something like, Oh, I shouldn’t have said that. That was not the right thing to say. Saying that actually made things so much worse. I was an idiot for saying that.

Have you ever felt that way before?

Or you’re like this, Why did I hit send? Can I unwind that? Can I rewind? Can I delete hitting send? I shouldn’t have hit send so quickly.

Do we fully consider the weight of our words? Do we weigh what we say? Honestly, you know what? I think oftentimes we say before we weigh, but it should be the reverse, right?

You know what? Instead of saying it and then weighing it, what would be much better would be to weigh it before we say it-really considering the weight of our words.

And I think weight certainly could be spelled both ways. There is a weight that comes attached to the words that flow out of your mouth. But maybe what we need to do is wait before we speak, to just wait on the Lord and pray over what our lips end up pronouncing.

Granted, we’ve all said things that we regret, okay? In fact, our verses today come from a letter in the Bible written to repair some broken relationships that existed between the Apostle Paul and the church in Corinth. And that rift in the relationship took place because of some wrong words that were used.

Let me just give you the formula on this deal: Wrong words that flow from wrong intentions are always going to result in a wrong outcome.

And that’s happened. It’s happened to you and me and Paul and Corinth. That’s why Paul writes.

Yet here’s the good news: Right words-in fact, we’ll quote a great verse here-Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11).

This is a really cool deal. It’s what can happen when we choose the right words. Right words that flow from the right intentions will always produce the right outcome. It will get what’s broken back on track. It will fix it.

If you’ve used some wrong words, it’s not too late. Weigh what you say and use some right words so that what has been broken can begin being fixed.

Prayer Lord God,

Thank You for helping me to understand how powerful my words are! Now please cleanse my heart and help me to weigh what I say, to speak words fitly spoken, so that my words always produce the right outcomes.

Amen