Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
What do you need to be a good leader in your home? In case you’ve ever asked this question, the Bible gives us some very clear qualities, and all of them are based in the character of God Himself.
The first quality of a good household leader is Biblical love. This love is way different from the Cupid love that is running rampant in our society. Here are the differences:
Cupid love is based on emotions. You don’t choose love; you just get shot with it. You see the girl across the room and she looks back at you and-WHAM!-you love each other. Then you get into a relationship with each other and go through the ups and downs, falling in and out of love, feeling betrayed over and over as you ride the waves of emotion.
Biblical love is a choice to commit. It is a covenant promise to seek the benefit of the other person before your own, to lay your life down to make your spouse’s life all God made it to be. It is not void of emotion (and is in fact very emotional), but it weathers the emotional ups and downs because it is founded on something far greater-a choice made before God.
The second quality of a good household leader is that you lead by the Word of God. The guidebook and roadmap for your family had better be the Bible.
A lot of men complain about their wives having all sorts of problems. I don’t know if you realize this, but look at our verses today-Jesus washes His bride with the pure water of the Word so that He can present to Himself a glorious bride. It is your job to wash your wife in the Word, leading her into godliness so that you can present yourself with a glorious bride. This is not giving you permission to accuse her of all her faults, but instead to gently lead her into godliness.
Maybe you say that your wife knows the Word better than you do. That might be true, but that only means it’s time for you to learn. Nothing excuses you from the place of leadership to which God has called you and for which He will hold you accountable.
These are God’s qualities for household leadership. Will you learn them?
Prayer Father God,
You are the best example of household leadership there could ever be! Please help me to grow in love and in Your Word, so that I can lead my family into all You call us to be. Especially in my marriage, God, please help me to lead with confidence according to Your will.